Milk...how I loathe thee...your smell...your taste. You disgust me. Got milk? Not since 1989. That's the last time I can remember being forced to consume that vile substance-the lunch room in grade school-5th grade to be precise. There wasn't an incident involving milk that I can remember. I just don't like it. Sometimes I tell people that and they give me a look-it's the same look I get when I say I don't like Oprah...as though I had said I drown puppies. It's usually followed by "oh are you intolerant?" Yes...of milk..not lactose.
I do think I suffer from a sort of phobia-lactophopia-the fear of being near or consuming milk. The fact that I'm female and could one day produce a milk is enough to make me never want children. I cannot imagine. I'm getting a little gaggy thinking about milk and have a lump in my throat. I don't even like it on my hand-if I'm cooking and it gets on me or a small crusty mustached child comes near I have to move as far away as possible. If by some disasterous chance it touches me I have to wash my hands immediately. Got milk? Not near me you don't.
I can cook with it as long as I can't taste it. I buy the smallest container possible-the "Milk Chug" or single serving plastic bottle. The cashier inevitably asks if I want to leave it out to take with me. Absolutely not and please double bag it. I'm not taking a chance of spillage in the car. I'd have to sell it. I eat cereal dry out of the bag. I look for baking mixes that don't require milk. I can tolerate ice cream or milk shakes as long as the smell of milk is masked by other flavors.
Drink a glass of milk? ...I'd rather watch Oprah.
Spants
I do think I suffer from a sort of phobia-lactophopia-the fear of being near or consuming milk. The fact that I'm female and could one day produce a milk is enough to make me never want children. I cannot imagine. I'm getting a little gaggy thinking about milk and have a lump in my throat. I don't even like it on my hand-if I'm cooking and it gets on me or a small crusty mustached child comes near I have to move as far away as possible. If by some disasterous chance it touches me I have to wash my hands immediately. Got milk? Not near me you don't.
I can cook with it as long as I can't taste it. I buy the smallest container possible-the "Milk Chug" or single serving plastic bottle. The cashier inevitably asks if I want to leave it out to take with me. Absolutely not and please double bag it. I'm not taking a chance of spillage in the car. I'd have to sell it. I eat cereal dry out of the bag. I look for baking mixes that don't require milk. I can tolerate ice cream or milk shakes as long as the smell of milk is masked by other flavors.
Drink a glass of milk? ...I'd rather watch Oprah.
Spants
Guess what ad popped up when I posted? Lactaid...see it's the first thought. Must be intolerant.
ReplyDeleteI also hate milk! I don't eat any cereal because of it's association with milk! Love ice-cream though! I have a hard time with milk shakes or anything of that consistency because I think of milk and then it's over. I can't have my ice cream start to melt either! What a mess! haha
ReplyDeleteLindsay